I suppose that mild-mannered people like me that occasionally surf have no choice but to accept that mainstream surf brands constantly seek out new ways to be edgy. This is driven by the fact that many surf brands like quicksilver sell way more in t-shirts and board shorts than they will ever sell in surf equipment. Appealing to a certain demographic means that the companies strive to achieve an image that usually involves cuss-words and scantily-clad females. My surfer friend (the one in the video) has a young teenage son in middle school. Said son picked up a DVD at the surf shop and brought it home to watch. In between the gnarly surfing clips, a commercial appeared that featured numerous surf groupies in bikinis. Not to worry - the young impressionable boy's mom was nearby and intervened. She hit "eject", and snapped his freebie DVD in two.

This same dynamic has also gotten me in trouble. For example, on cold winter mornings, I pull on RipCurl "F-BOMB" wetsuit booties, and paddle out. This isn't my fault. I just went to the surf store last year, intent on fixing an annoyance that occurred the previous winter. When I went surfing in 55 degree water, it was so cold that when I got into work, my feet would burn for 2 hours or so until my body figured out I wasn't in the water anymore. The kind store attendant showed me some of the different boots they offer. I eliminated the ones with bright colors, or super cheap ones that were merely loosely stitched neoprene. I found a nice-looking pair with split toes that fit well. I bought them and headed home. When I examined the box, it told me that I had not purchased just any pair of booties, but they were in fact "F-BOMB" booties (f-bomb is a euphemism for the f-word, as in "he launched into a tirade, dropping f-bombs left and right") . Fine, I thought. The booties don't actually say "F-BOMB" on them, it's just the box. I stashed them on the top shelf in the garage, and pulled the booties out once the water got cold. This left an empty box on the top shelf.

A few weeks ago, Marie and I dutifully trudged off with all 4 kids to open-house night at the school. Jerome showed us around his classroom - the artwork, reports, poems, etc. - all very nice. Well, it was all very nice until we got to the dioramas. The kids were studying national parks, and Jerome got Yellowstone. His diorama contained intricate miniature sculptures of bison, deer, and geysers. You can imagine my surprise when I found that this idyllic scene was unapologetically depicted in my "F-BOMB" wetsuit boots box. I asked Marie what happened, and she said that Jerome came home and said he needed a shoe box. They scoured the house but found nothing until the triumphant discovery of the now-famous "F-BOMB" box. Neither of them thought anything of it (why should they). It didn't turn out to be a big deal. His teacher didn't say anything - I'm sure he just thought it was an unavoidable consequence of having mormon kids in his class. Morale is: please dispose of any "F-BOMB" wetsuit booties boxes you have floating around the house.