This week I sat through a very exciting 7 minute presentation - my company's new corporate video. This prompted me to think of a great project for the marketing/communications department: the un-corporate video. Just as the corporate video attempts to put a positive spin on every facet of the company, this version would call a spade a spade. First of all, it would be longer than 7 minutes -

(fade in) - (unattractive man narrates) - Let's get one thing straight - the glory days are over. Most of our products have been turned into commodities, and our major customers now have so much bargaining power that we routinely take it on the chin. Sure, we'd love to sell our business units that have stalled, but they are about as appealing to potential buyers as an '80 Citation w/flood damage.

(cut to R&D center) - we tell investors that we spend $100's of millions on R&D every year, but most of that is just technical support. True R&D investments are shunned by executives bent on reaching this year's profit numbers. Most of our R&D centers have parking lots that are half empty (or is it half-full?)

(cut to HR person) - In HR, we have very little experience in real business, but have become the ultimate power brokers. It's like that scene in the nature shows where all the little baby turtles hatch on the beach and make a mad dash for the water. We're the birds that swoop down and pluck the tasty morsels from the sand. Those lucky enough to survive will have their annual compensation decided via Ouija Board.

(cut to the plant) "Could someone please call Haz-mat. Asbestos is leaking out of the drains AGAIN"

(tag-line) - (insert company name here) we don't make the products you buy, but we used to.
(fade away and cut music)

Another random thought - This week I have had an ear infection. After being a nuisance since last Saturday, it kicked in for real yesterday, and I have been popping Advil ever since. Yesterday I bought "earache relief ear drops" but didn't notice on the label that this was a "homeopathic" product. I have since learned that this a fancy way of saying the product has no hope of affecting much of anything. I feel a better label for this particular medicine is "quack juice". After putting the drops in and expecting instant relief, nothing. Today I arranged to go hometeaching to one of my families where the dad is an ENT doc. He took a look in after I had shared a spiritual message, and said that the external canal is infected. We both know but do not say that the infection was probably caused by my addiction to Q-tips. He called in a prescription for REAL eardrops, which I will pick up and religiously use beginning tomorrow.

Lastly, any player who cries on his final play as a Coug is ok in my book. Scroll down most of the way and read about Trandon Harvey. A beautiful game, a perfect ending. Viva la Cougs.

Ok, that wasn't the last thing, but this is: a "hi" from the kids.