Sunday, February 17, 2008

I don't have a lot to write this week, but I did have another run-in with "the man". My company is in the midst of a large-scale overhaul of our quality system. These types of initiatives are always interesting studies in corporate culture. I mean, let's be serious: if a company needs to install a new quality program, that's a sure sign that quality was never really important before that. At my last company, the executives made everyone start wearing "Q" buttons at all times to show how committed they were to the new quality program. Shortly after that policy went into effect, a low level employee happened to be sharing the up elevator with the CEO one day. After a cordial greeting, the CEO examined the employee's attire, and asked "where's your "Q" pin?". With a quick glance to his lapel, the employee replied "Damn - I left it on my pajamas AGAIN".

In my company, the quality program mostly consists of an online training tool which requires me to study pointless minutiae like standard agenda items on the monthly quality audit. Then, the quality folks confirm that I have actually read through the tedious documents by giving me a "quiz". Until recently, there were ways to game the quiz, but the quality department stopped sending emails with the list of questions you missed after you failed the quiz. This change in policy led my boss to despair that he would never finish the dozen or so training modules that he had just been assigned. I decided to tackle my unfinished modules on Friday afternoon, and soon was stuck on an 8 question quiz that included a lot of "check all that apply" questions. After scouring the relevant documents for the answers and taking the quiz 15 or 16 times, I still couldn't get a passing score (80%). However, I accidentally discovered that you can "submit" your quiz answers without giving an answer for each question. Needless to say, the quizzes went much faster then, as I just answered the questions one at a time, submitted the quiz, and wrote down the answer to each question if in fact it was right. Not only did I dispatch 4 quizzes in 45 minutes, but I ended up with a crib sheet with all the answers on it. I gave the sheet to my boss, who appeared to have flashbacks to our corporation's ethics video, but took the sheet all the same and said he was grateful. He also mentioned something about plastic spoons. Last year when we moved to our new building, "the man" stopped stocking the coffee room with plastic utensils. I was frustrated by this, so I went to our cafeteria, and commandeered a large case of soup spoons, which I put into the cupboard of our coffee room. Anyway, my boss (who saw me make off with the box) has ribbed me about it for some time, especially after the cafeteria started stocking the plastic utensils next to the cash registers and charging $.25 per spoon. After I gave him the answers to the quality quizzes, he admitted that he had 2 choices: spend 6 hours completing quality training modules, or throw his lot in with the spoon thieves.

Another video this week - Quinn is starting to smile. For some reason the sound isn't lined up with the video, and it's playing in slow motion - don't know why that's happening but you can still kind of tell what's going on.

7 comments:

twoplustwins said...

I like your style. For some reason your post reminds me of when the school of medicine wanted us to wear our school name tags to class in a pointless exercise to appear more "professional". I thought it made me appear more like a "dweeb", but decided that if the class' biggest "stick it to the man" guy ever wore his, I would then wear mine. He never did.

Jules said...

Have scientists determined the cytogenetic location of the "stick it to the man" gene? Clearly a family trait. The more I read about your work environment the more I must agree with Tom about "The Office."

Gillian said...

We just watched "School of Rock" so we know all about the man.

Gillian said...

Quinn is adorable.

Grandma's Musings said...

This chicanery is of a piece with your putting magazines in the back of your pants before an expected (and much deserved) encounter with the wooden spoon. However, if the QC people write a quiz that can't be passed by studying the relevant material, someone needs to apply a little QC to that department. Maybe a company that can sell plastic spoons for 25 cents apiece doesn't need QC.

Grandma's Musings said...

QC has obviously been applied to whatever Marie is feeding darling, prosperous-looking Quinn.

Mommymita said...

Hey - Clara just watched Quinn's video 5 times laughing and saying "hi baby" let's hope she is just as thrilled about our little guy.

Meanwhile James and I keep cracking about about Kai's video. If ever I'm in a bad mood I'll come back and play it again!